Why do I love writing BSB fanfiction?
Brace yourself, 'cause this is gonna take a while. ;)

I don't think there's one specific thing to point out when it comes to this question. The reasons for loving the BSB fanfic world are endless. Anyone who is a part of it will understand me on this one. There's just no describing it.

Every night, when I go to bed, the first and most natural thing that comes to mind is a scene in one of my stories. Which one it is, even which scene it is, varies from night to night, but it's always there. I always have something new planned out before I let my mind wander to dreamland.

When I sit in class or in the back seat of my parents' car, ideas will begin to flow through my head, sometimes so intensely that I completely forget my surroundings. If someone interrupts me during this haze, I get not a little snappy and short-tempered. To have those hazy images broken is like telling my heart to stop beating for a minute or two while I figure out a complicated math problem.

And my fingers itch. Constantly. Always itching to write.

My mother once asked me (one of the few times I actually wrote something with another person in the room) why I was being so fidgety. It wasn't until then I noticed that I was huffing, sighing, taking deep breaths, biting my lip - all the while my fingers running over the keys like I was trying to break some kind of typing record. I was duplicating my character's actions. That thought put a smile on my face for quite a while.

I love to close my eyes, listen to the sounds around me, take in a deep breath and just ... feel. Put myself in my character's position and work from there. I love getting so lost in my stories that the next time I look up, an hour has passed when I thought it was only minutes. I love feeling so emotionally drained after writing a chapter that sometimes, I have to cry a little just to let go.

And of course, I love feedback.

Just yesterday, I received an email from Marta Wells, a girl who'd read ICARY and wanted to commend me on it. She told me that she'd gone running the day before, and her thoughts had drifted to Melody and how she bravely fought for what she wanted, how she finally found something to help her reach her goal. She told me I could add her to the list of people I'd inspired.

That floored me.

Who needs awards and recognition when you receive comments like that?

It's strange, but I really don't get it. I can't grasp the fact that so many people have been touched by my writing, how they've even thought it was worth shedding tears over. Every time I even try to wrap my mind around it, it causes an overwhelming lump to form in my throat.

I don't think I'll ever fully understand.

Still, I continue writing, simply because I can't live without it. I pour my heart out on every page. I really do. I want so desperately for my readers to experience the same feeling I get when I write that I do everything in my power to describe it in my stories. Yet I seem to fail no matter how hard I try. The joy of doing this just can't be put into words. It's too huge.

To wrap this up, I want to tell you my reasons for writing about each of these guys, because they all bring something different out in me.

My favorite person of them all to write about. When written correctly, AJ has a certain aura around him, a beautiful magic that just keeps your mouth etched in a constant grin, whether it be a smirk or a sympathetic smile. Only a few people know how to master this man completely, and I myself am still struggling to capture that magic that surrounds him. His passion allures me, his deep passion that you can just feel oozing out of him when it comes to the people he loves. He's brave and admirable. Not to mention sexy as hell. ;) What's not to love?

Brian's amazing. Really. On and off the paper, he just draws people to him with that beautiful laugh, those goofy expressions and that soothing, powerful voice that can make any living, breathing creature on this planet stop to listen. What's interesting when you write about him is peeling those walls down, the walls that are created for the public. When you make him loving, tender, passionate and a bit tempered when he's been pissed off just enough. ;) Love just illuminates from that man. Deep, intense emotions is the only way I could ever see myself writing him. That, of course, attracts me to no end. :)

He's my second favorite guy to write after AJ. I don't know how it happened, but my obsession for Howie has risen remarkably these past few months, almost knocking Brian off his spot as my favorite Backstreet Boy. I adore Howie. His goodhearted nature, his love for what he does, his devotion for his fans - all of that just adds up to an extraordinary man. Of course, writing him is just as amazing. Considering how private Howie is about his personal life, how private he is in general, it's interesting to let him onfold on the pages as someone his public persona doesn't quite pertain him to be. I see Howie as an extremely passionate man (as I do with all of them, which you've probably noticed ;)), one who fights for what he wants, one who loves his four bandmates very dearly. I love peeling off layers with this guy as well. :) If only more people could see how amazing he is.

It's been a while since I've written about him, but after reading a lot of Kevin novels these past few months, I love him just as much as the rest. The protective father type that everyone seems to put him into doesn't give him enough credit. Most writers make him seem annoying in their stories, like someone the guys just see as getting in their way and wrecking their plans. I really hate that stereotype, more so than the others. Kevin's a protector, yes, but he's deep, creative, sensual and very dedicated - very few writers seem to bring that out in him. Since I can't really go into depth with why I love writing about him at the moment (seeing as it's been so long since I wrote my Kevin novel) I'll return to this section once I start writing my soon-to-come Kevin story. Maybe I'll have more to say then. ;)

For some reason, I can't seem to bring myself to write him in anything other than short stories. It's not that I don't like him - it's that everyone else are already writing about him. I wanna bring out the other guys more. :) But Nick ... yeah, Nick's Nick really. :) He can't really be described. More people are learning to write him in a way that keeps my butt firmly planted in the seat throughout their story, because he really is an interesting character when he's done properly. The fact that he just seems so much deeper than what his stage persona gives him credit for (the song "Do I Have to Cry for You?" and his poems really brings out a new side of him) is interesting to work with. Then again, sometimes the endless amount of stories about him gets too overwhelming and I will refuse to read any stories starring him for at least a week. Except I never keep that promise. Damn me and my weak will power.

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