PART EIGHT

No. 8: I can wish that you were mine, but he's already made you his.

"Brian?" she asked, looking back and forth between both of us. "Nick? What's-?"

"Why don't you tell us what's going on, Autumn," Nick spat, stepping a few paces closer to her. "You see, Brian here accidentally dropped a picture of you two out of his wallet. Kinda got me thinking, you know? But now Brian tells me that he didn't know that you and I were going out when you two started dating. Care to explain?"

Her beautiful creamy skin turned completely pale as she looked at me, shock written across her face. "You knew?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. "You knew about … me and Nick?"

I met her gaze and nodded slowly. No words seemed appropriate for this moment.

She shifted her weight nervously and ran a hand through her auburn hair. "For how long?"

Even Nick turned to look at me curiously, both of them awaiting an explanation. I looked down to my fidgeting hands, wishing that a man-shaped hole would appear from the floor and consume me. "Three months or so," I said quietly.

"What?" she whispered incredulously, and I looked up again to meet her gaze, a pleading expression on my face.

"What the hell kind of a game are you playing, huh?!" Nick exclaimed fiercely at her, pulling me back to reality. "You thought we wouldn't find out sooner or later? And you." He whirled around and glared at me, his fists clenching tightly. "You hid this from me for three fucking months when you knew that the right thing was to tell me! If you'd told me, at least I could still trust you."

My heart sank down to my feet as I took a step backwards, surprised by his words. "Tell me something, Nick," I then said, my voice a little stronger this time. "What would you have done, huh? If you one day saw the woman you love kiss one of your goddamn best friends, but when you go to confront him about it, all he can talk about is this wonderful new girl he just met? What would you have done?! I don't wanna lose her anymore than you do, you fucking asshole!"

Nick was about to retaliate when we both turned at the sound of a loud sob. Autumn still stood in the same spot, fresh tears now trickling down her cheeks, breaking my heart all over again. "Guys, please," she pleaded, taking a step forward. "Let me explain…"

"What could you possibly have to say?" Nick asked angrily, his voice cracking ever so slightly. "What can you do that's gonna rectify the damage you've caused?"

"I don't know!" she exclaimed, sobs now wrecking her frail body. "But … but just let me try. Please!"

Seeing her like this was too much to bear. I walked over to her and placed my hands on her shoulders, offering her a small smile. "Come on," I whispered and motioned for the bed.

"Don't you fucking touch her, Brian!"

"Stay out of this, Nick," I hissed, helping Autumn to the bed and getting down on both knees in front of her. I gently reached up and wiped her tears away, offering her as much comfort as I could with Nick still in the room.

"I'm sorry," she whispered brokenly. "God, Brian, I'm so sorry."

"I know," I whispered back, nodding slightly. I stood up again and faced Nick, whose face had grown an even deeper shade of red. "Relax, Nick, I'm not gonna do anything. You think yelling at her is gonna help our situation?"

"Nothing will help this situation!" he exclaimed fiercely, walking over to me in three steps or less. "Don't you get it, Brian? There's no way we're all getting out of this in one piece!"

"You think I don't know that?" I asked angrily. "Believe me, Nick, I know that all too well, but you need to calm down so we can talk about this."

"Don't tell me what to do!" he screamed, making me step back in shock. "I'm not a fucking kid anymore, Brian!"

Autumn's face was now buried in her hands, her body rocking back and forth as she sobbed quietly, her shoulders shaking from the force of her tears. "Don't do this," she whispered through her hands. "Don't make me do this, please."

"Stop crying!" Nick exclaimed shakily as he grabbed her shoulders and shook her, his own eyes glazing over with unshed tears. "Do you hear me, Autumn?! Stop crying!"

She looked up at him, tears still spilling over endlessly. "What do you want me to do?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. "What can I say to make this better?"

"Who were you seeing first?" he asked, his voice cracking as a single tear trickled down his cheek. "Give me some peace of mind and tell me who you started seeing first."

My heart nearly stopped beating in my chest as I watched her look back and forth between us, dreading and anticipating the answer to the same question I had asked myself so many times.

"You," she whispered, meeting Nick's gaze. "I started seeing you first, Nick."

My worst suspicions were confirmed too soon for me to guard myself. I couldn't stop a solitary tear from slipping down my cheek, but I wiped it away forcefully and looked to the ground, staring at the patterned carpet.

I was the one who had betrayed Nick. Not the other way around.

Nick sat motionless for a moment, then stood up and wiped the moisture off his cheeks. "So you just decided that I wasn't good enough, huh?" he asked quietly, looking down on her with defeat in his eyes. "You had to go cheat on me with my best friend, even though you knew how much I loved you. What is this, some kind of sick game to you? You wanna nail as many Backstreet Boys as you can come across?"

"No," she whispered, shaking her head fiercely. "I didn't mean for this to happen, I … I didn't expect to fall in love with you…" She looked down to her hands and sniffled again, wiping her tear-stained cheeks.

Which one of us had she referred to?

"Why, Autumn?" I asked sadly, my voice wavering slightly. "Why didn't you just back away and save us all from this? Why did you stay long enough for me to fall in love with you?"

She looked up at me, shaking her head slowly. "I don't know," she whispered. "I don't know what to say, Brian, I-"

"Choose."

Both of us looked at Nick after his voice had cut through our conversation. "What?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"You said you didn't know what you could do to make it better," he clarified, crossing his arms over his chest. "I know how you can. Choose."

My heart jumped into my throat at his words. This was the moment I had dreaded for so long. The moment where I would have to let her go. I looked down at Autumn whose face was an even whiter shade of pale now, her hands trembling fiercely.

"Listen to me, Autumn," I said desperately and sat down next to her, gripping her shoulders so she was forced to face me. "Whoever you choose, don't look back. That's all I ask of you. God help me, you know I love you, but if you don't choose me, I don't want you to look back, you hear me? I don't want you to-"

The lump in my throat made it impossible for me to finish my sentence, so I simply looked at her, doing my best to encourage her without words.

Another heartbreaking sob escaped her throat as she looked from me to Nick, who had sat down on the other side of her. "Choose, Autumn," he whispered, his voice cracking with emotion. "You can't have both of us. Not anymore."

I knew how hard this was for her. Of course I knew. I could see the uncertainty behind her glazed eyes, but she didn't have a choice any longer. It was me or him.

It was a question of who she loved the most.

An agonizing moment of silence passed while Autumn tried to compose herself. She swallowed hard, and let a final sob escape her throat before she spoke. "Come on," she whispered, looking down to the ground as she grabbed Nick's hand. "Let's go."

Incredible relief washed over his face at the same time mine crumbled in defeat. I watched them get up from the bed and walk to the door hand in hand, closing the door behind them without another word.

She didn't look back.

_____________________________

Chapter 07 » Chapter 09