PART FOURTEEN

*Melody*

"So how long have you and Howie been together now?" I asked before I stuffed a piece of chicken in my mouth.

"Only a few months," Cassidy said as a small smile played on her lips. "But I already know that I'm nuts about the guy. I mean, he makes you feel so special, like you're the only girl in the world worth while. I know this must sound crazy, but-"

"Oh no, not at all," I objected and offered her a wide grin. "Believe me, I know the power Howie has over women. He nearly swept me off my feet last year when we last saw each other."

"Have you and Howie been dating?" Cassidy asked wide eyed, obviously not prepared for me to say those words.

"Only on one date," I said quietly and looked down to my hands. "I was ... well, it didn't work out anyway."

"Oh," she said quietly. "I see."

"But I can see he's found a great girl for himself," I smiled as I looked up and met her gaze again. "He's crazy about you, too, Cassidy. I see it every time he looks at you. You have absolutely nothing to worry about."

Her face lit up in a wide smile as she quickly glanced at Howie, who was sitting a little further back, talking to Nick. "I really hope you're right," she said softly. "I could definitely see us getting serious someday. Who knows, it may even be like him and that girl he's talked about."

I frowned slightly. "What girl?"

"Well, he's never mentioned her name," she said quietly as she pricked at her food with her fork. "But he knew this girl a while back, and he was absolutely head over heels for her. Hell, by the way he described her, I think he actually loved her. But nothing ever happened, ‘cause she was in love with someone else. But he told me that no one had ever made that kind of impression on him before or after her. Apparently she had very low self-esteem or something and he tried his best to make her see that she was a great girl and all, but ... God, I hope I can make him feel like that again someday."

I froze in my tracks as I heard that description and slowly turned around to look at Howie. The girl she just mentioned reminded me very much of someone I knew quite well. Apparently Howie felt my eyes on him, ‘cause he paused his conversation with Nick long enough to send me a warm smile before picking back up his train of thought.

I swallowed hard as I turned around and met Cassidy's gaze again. "Yeah well ... I guess having low self-esteem is never a nice feeling," I said and smiled halfheartedly. "But it seems like this girl is long forgotten."

"I don't think he'll ever forget her," Cassidy said sadly and supported her body by placing her hand on the ground. "You should see the way he looks like when he talks about her. He gets this solemn look on his face, and I just ... well, I feel like he gets lost in a world of his own."

Sounds like AJ when he thinks about Paige, I thought to myself and gritted my teeth behind my closed lips. To think that I hadn't forgotten about AJ's ex-girlfriend yet. Did he still think about her like that?

"Everyone," Lorna suddenly exclaimed as she stood up from her spot on the blanket. "How about a little party game?"

"Aww man," Nick moaned and rolled his eyes jokingly. "Sweetheart, I love you and all, but if you say ‘truth or dare' I refuse to have anything to do with you for the rest of the day."

Everyone immediately began laughing. "Come on," Lorna whined and pulled Nick up from the ground. "It'll be fun. And besides, it's not quite like ‘truth or dare' anyway."

"Oh yeah?" Nick asked and cocked an eyebrow. "How so?"

"Well, it's kinda like ‘truth or dare' mixed in with ‘spin the bottle'," Lorna explained. "Except there's no dare. Whenever the bottle points to someone, they get to ask a question to anyone in the group and they have to answer honestly. No lying and no squirming out of it. And no, this isn't a sexual questionnaire either."

"Damn," AJ exclaimed and snapped his fingers. "Just when this was beginning to sound interesting."

Everyone laughed again and I couldn't help but shake my head to myself. Lord help me, that man never changed.

"So," Lorna drawled out. "Everybody up for it?"

Everybody glanced at each other and gave small nods and comments like, "yeah sure," and, "why not?"

"Great," Lorna grinned. "Form a circle, everyone."

We all stepped out on the grass and just as I was about to sit, Lorna pulled me aside. "This is your chance," she whispered and gave my arm a gentle squeeze. "Don't blow it."

I gave her a small frown, but she was already gone and had sat down next to Nick and Leighanne. Giving myself a small shrug, I sat down in the only spot available next to AJ and Howie. I quickly glanced at Faye to make sure that she was still asleep in her baby seat. All the food and the many people and worn her out completely.

"All right," Lorna said as she placed the empty coke bottle on the small table cloth she'd grabbed from my basket. "Let's get this started." She spun the bottle and everyone watched as it twirled around, forming a circle of air around itself. Finally, the spinning slowed down until it completely stopped, the neck of the bottle pointing towards Brian.

"Ooh, excellent," he exclaimed and rubbed his hands together. "All right, let's see ..." He scanned the circle until a mischievous smile played on his lips. "Cassidy," he said with a wide grin. "Are you in love with Howie?"

All pairs of eyes, Howie's especially, looked questioningly at Cassidy, who suddenly seemed to squirm in her spot on the ground. "I ... well ... uhh, I," she stuttered, but then sighed and looked at Howie as she smiled vaguely and shrugged. "Yes."

Howie's eyes lit up immediately as he cupped her face in his hands. "Really?" he asked in a voice barely above a whisper. "You ... I mean, you ... and you're ... really?"

A wide smile appeared on my face when I saw Cassidy nod vigorously and smile as her eyes glazed over ever so slightly. Howie smiled warmly in return and kissed her gently, yet with incredible intensity. Everyone erupted in a great, big, "Aww," and they both suddenly noticed that they weren't alone. Blushing slightly, they let go of each other, although still firmly holding hands.

I couldn't help but glance at AJ, only to find that he was looking at me as well. We shared a warm smile as his thumb gently ran across the back of my hand before intertwining our fingers together. A small blush formed on my cheeks as I looked down, suddenly feeling my heart skip a beat.

"I see we're getting off to a great start," Brian grinned as he grabbed the bottle again. "Let's keep this going." He spun the bottle and once again everyone watched as it kept twirling around. Finally it paused with its neck pointing to...

"Melody," Lorna said quietly. "What do you wanna ask?"

I looked at her with hesitation written in my eyes. She smiled gently and nodded, urging me to go ahead. I took a deep breath before I said, "Well ... this question is actually for two people. Nick and Kevin." I looked across the circle to meet Nick's gaze for the first time in several weeks, just like it was with Kevin. "I ... I guess I wanna know why you're mad at me and what I can do to change that," I said with a trembling voice and swallowed hard.

Nick let out a small, sarcastic laugh and shook his head as he looked away. "Right, Melody," he huffed. "Nice try, but I'm not talking to you."

"Can't you just give me a chance to explain?" I asked, my grip on AJ's hand growing tighter.

"Not when you don't deserve it," he snapped angrily.

"Nick, you have to answer," Lorna said firmly. "So do you, Kevin. It's part of the rules."

"Well, then I'm not playing," Nick exclaimed and crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't wanna hear anything she has to say."

I looked at Kevin with desperation in my eyes. He looked incredibly torn, glancing back and forth between Nick and me. For once, he wasn't the strong one.

"All right," he finally said and gave me a small nod. "I think you deserve a chance to defend yourself, Melody. Go ahead."

"Oh man, I'm not listening to this," Nick groaned and attempted to stand up, but Lorna pulled him down again in a matter of two seconds flat.

"Nick," she said firmly through clenched teeth. "Sit. Down. The least you can do is hear her out. Stop being a brat, for crying out loud!"

I inhaled a trembling breath and felt AJ's hand on my back, supporting me without the use of words. Finally, Nick sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. "Whatever," he mumbled and looked away.

Everyone's eyes fell on me and I suddenly felt incredibly small and lousy. They were all curious, I knew that much. Even Howie and Brian, who had been willing to forgive me without hearing any explanations, wanted to know why I led AJ on for so many months. There was no way around this time.

"All right," I said and nodded slowly. "I'll tell you, and I'm gonna pray that you will understand, or at least try to." As I ran a hand through my hair, I looked down and inhaled deeply. "I know what I did was wrong," I said quietly. "I know I let you all down very much. AJ especially."

I looked up to meet his gaze, only to see how hard he was struggling to control the stir of emotions in his eyes. "I've always wanted him to be a part of Faye's life," I said quietly, not taking my eyes off of him. "But ... I couldn't let him. Not when he gets chased by fans and reporters every day. I didn't want our baby to grow up like that. She deserved better than that. So yeah, I kept his child from him for a long time. And not a day goes by where I don't regret the choice I made. If I could undo it, I would do so in a heartbeat But … I can't."

AJ swallowed hard and looked down to his hands, and once again I remembered that we weren't alone. I looked at the rest of the group as I said, "I'm sorry. For the bottom of my heart, I'm sorry I betrayed your trust and friendship. I just did what I thought was right at the time."

Complete silence fell upon the small glade as everyone looked at each other. My only rescue, my only salvation right now was Kevin, who seemed to have a softer look in his eyes. He was about to speak when Nick suddenly cut in.

"Bullshit, Melody!"

My whole body went into shock when I saw his eyes narrow with anger. "You wanna know why I'm mad at you?" he asked as his eyes burned fiercely. "Fine, I'll tell you. It's got nothing to do with AJ. Hell, it's got nothing to do with Faye either. It's about you and me, and the fact that I thought we were friends! How could you do this? How could you keep something so big from me? I trusted you, goddammit! And you just went ahead and stabbed me in the back. So you can just fuck off with your excuses and lameass explanations, ‘cause they're not gonna work with me!"

"You better watch it, man," AJ said slowly, his voice dangerously low. "Don't-"

"No, it's ... it's okay," I said quietly and held up a hand to silence him. "Let him finish. I want him to get it out of his system."

"How generous of you," Nick mumbled under his breath.

I looked up to see Lorna watch him with an expression of disgust in her eyes. Brian and Howie looked at each other, obviously not knowing what to do, and AJ looked like he was about to explode with rage because of what Nick was saying. Everything seemed to fall apart, and I was the only one who could fix it.

Without a word, I stood up and walked across the circle to where Nick was sitting. I sat down in front of him and swallowed hard before I looked at him. He did everything in his power to not meet my gaze, but I kept ducking my head so he couldn't look away. "Hey," I said quietly. "I'm sorry, Nick. I never meant to put our friendship on the line. I hope you believe me when I say this. Your friendship has always meant the world to me and I would never do anything to jeopardize that."

He looked at me and I nearly flinched when I saw the deep pits of pain in his blue eyes. "How could you?" he whispered. "How could you do this? I thought we were friends. I thought-"

"I know," I said softly as I took both his hands in mine and smiled when he didn't pull away. "I know, Nick. Just tell me what I can do and I'll do it. I don't wanna lose you, but I can't take back what I did, no matter how badly I may want to."

He looked down to the ground and bit his lower lip nervously. Suddenly, a third hand was laid on top of ours and we both looked up to see Kevin smile gently at us. "How about we just take this one day at a time?" he asked and tilted his head ever so slightly.

My vision grew blurry with unshed tears as I watched him give me a soft smile. "I'd give anything for that," I whispered and nodded slowly. We both looked at Nick, who had suddenly slumped in his spot on the ground. He looked at me and I felt the most incredible sense of relief when I saw him smile ever so slightly.

"One day at a time sounds good to me," he said quietly as he gave my hand a little squeeze.

A solitary tear fell down my cheek as I looked at both of them smiling at me. The small cry of a second chance suddenly echoed in my ears, and for the first time in so long, I was able to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

"How about a hug to make up for lost time?" Brian asked from the other side of the circle.

I looked at both of them as I raised my eyebrows questioningly. They both smiled and nodded, and without any hesitation whatsoever, I wrapped them both in a hug so tight that they nearly fell backwards. Another "aww" echo was heard, but I didn't care. I had my friends back, and this time it was hopefully for good.

I must've done something right along the way. Something to make everything fall into place like it did. And whatever it was, I would gladly do it all over again.

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Chapter 13 » Chapter 15