PART FIFTEEN

*AJ*

You know … there are several things I love about my life. I mean, I'm definitely not complaining. Sure, there have been ups and downs, but overall, I've had a great life so far. Take performing, for instance. I don't think I could function normally if I couldn't stand in front of an audience and hear them cheering for us to sing. Or the kick I get when I first hear our new single on the radio. Or hanging out with the guys. Or going out. Even staying in. Like I said, I have a lot of things to be grateful for.

But recently, another thing has popped up on my list of things I love. I never even saw it coming, it just hit me in the face full force. But … you know, now that I think about it, it's been there for quite a while anyway. Maybe I just needed to see it for myself in order to understand.

It all started when I sat in Melody's kitchen for quite possibly the 100th time in the past few months, with a mug of steaming hot coffee cupped in my hands as I watched Faye attempting to eat her dinner without any help. Whenever Melody tried to help her, she started to whimper and knock the spoon out of Mel's hand. So finally, she got to try herself. Now she sat across from me at the table, with mashed banana from head to toes, and giggled ecstatically.

"Have you ever seen anything that adorable in your entire life?" I grinned as I traced the edge of the coffee mug with my index finger.

Melody glanced at me like I had just told her that the earth was flat. "Adorable?" she asked and cocked an eyebrow as she began wiping banana pieces off the table in front of Faye. "Just wait till you get to clean her up, then I don't think you'll find it so adorable."

"Jeez, Mel, just relax," I chuckled as I sat down next to Faye and began cleaning her with a dishtowel. "There's nothing wrong with having a little fun at the dinner table."

Faye wrinkled her nose each time the fabric connected with her skin, and she relentlessly attempted to push my hand away, but I didn't budge. Finally she gave up and looked at me with wide, wondering eyes as I finished cleaning up her face.

"There," I smirked and looked back at Melody. "All done."

"Be smug all you want," she grinned as she grabbed Faye's plate to take it to the sink. "That was just your first time. After 50 tries or so, you won't find it so amusing."

"Maybe not," I shrugged. "I take it one day at a time."

Melody smiled softly without looking at me as she nodded. "That sounds like a good plan, Alex."

She turned on the radio and began humming quietly as she finished the dishes. The light reflected in her chestnut-brown hair as she tucked it behind her ears and looked out the window with a distant expression in her deep eyes. I drew in a sharp breath and struggled with myself to look away. This was so pointless. Why was I sitting here when all I really wanted was to wrap my arms around her and tell her how I really felt? Why was I still so … afraid?

The song on the radio caught my attention and the words slowly planted themselves in my mind as a small smile crossed my lips.

So much between us
And we both know that it's wrong
So I keep on waiting till I'm back
Where I belong…

Have you ever wondered what went through a person's head when they were standing right in front of you? Wondered if what they were saying was actually what they were thinking? That's pretty much what I felt right then. I tilted my head ever so slightly and studied her features, trying to somehow gain supernatural powers to read her mind. Maybe, just maybe … could she be thinking about me?

A small sigh passed her lips before she turned her head and met my gaze. She smiled softly without the slightest hint of embarrassment or hesitation in her expression. I smiled in return and placed my chin in my hand, my elbow on the table, as I looked into her penetrating blue eyes, feeling my heartbeat increase with each passing second.

So here I am, all by myself
Thinking of you, nobody else
There's a feeling inside
And as hard as I try
It just won't go away

Are you finding it hard, all on your own
Having to face each night alone
Knowing you are the one
With the love that I need
And now I miss you more each day

Damn, some songs really hit the spot, don't they?

"What are you thinking?" I asked as she walked back to the table and sat down next to me.

"Well … I don't know," she replied as she placed her hand on top of mine. "That I'm glad you're still here. You know, that you decided not to run away from all of this." She gestured out at the room and looked back at me as she smiled softly. "I don't know, it just hit me all of a sudden. It's nice having you around again. Both for Faye and I."

I couldn't help but smile as I took her hand and led it to my lips. "The feeling is mutual, Mel," I said and used my free hand to brush a strand of curly hair from her eyes. She smiled gently in return and my stomach did another flip-flop at the sight. Oh well, it's not like it surprised me anyway. She'd always had that effect on me.

"So what are you thinking about?"

Couldn't she tell by the way I couldn't stop looking at her? I shrugged silently and offered a small smile as I traced my hand down her cheek. "You."

"Really?" she asked and grinned widely. "How flattering. Wanna elaborate on that a bit?"

A small jolt of electricity ran through my body when I saw her smile like that. Maybe this was the time to tell that I wanted nothing more than to scream off the rooftops that I loved her like no one else in this world. Maybe I was finally ready. There was only one way to find out.

"Melody," I said softly as I took her hands in mine and concentrated my gaze on them. "There's … there's something I have to tell you."

Her fingers traced over the palm of my hands as she gently asked, "Yes?"

"Well," I continued and looked into her eyes. "It's abou-"

I didn't get further into my declaration before Faye started tucking on Melody's sleeve and huffing loudly, demanding her attention. "Hold that thought," she smiled as she turned around and picked up Faye in her arms. "What is it, sweetie?" she asked and let Faye stand on her lap. "Ugh, you're so cute, you know that? I could just eat you alive."

Faye giggled loudly and rubbed her nose against Melody's, who began laughing and returned the gesture. I watched them both as a warm smile formed on my lips before I even realized it.

My family, I thought, feeling a warm sensation rush through my body. My beautiful family.

And that's when it hit me. The new addition to my list of things I love were my two precious girls. I would gladly cross any ocean or give up everything I had, as long as they were happy. I wanted to protect them from any harm that might cross their way and be the one who would make everything okay for them. And that simple realization just felt so … right.

"What are you smiling at?" Melody chuckled as she readjusted Faye in her arms.

I looked back at her, suddenly seeing everything in a new light. "Nothing," I smiled and shook my head. "I just wish I had a camera."

She chuckled softly and shook her head. "You're not gonna say that in a few minutes," she said as she handed Faye to me. "She needs changing."

My eyes nearly jumped out of their sockets as I stared from Melody to Faye and back at Melody again. "Come again."

"Changing. You know, a new diaper."

"And what do you want me to do about it?"

"What do you think, Einstein? Change her."

My nose scrunched up as I looked at Faye, who seemed extremely amused by the situation. "Melody, that's gross. I'm not changing her."

"Weren't you taking it one day at a time?" she smirked as she stood up and walked back to the sink. "You might as well get used to it, AJ."

I mumbled something under my breath as I got up from my seat and held Faye at an arm's length. She giggled excitedly and reached out for me, but I wrinkled my nose and shook my head. "Nuh-uh, not until we get you cleaned up, girl," I said as we entered her nursing room and laid her down on the mattress.

I ran a hand through my hair as I looked down at Faye, who still grinned widely. "You think it's funny?" I asked and cocked an eyebrow. "Yeah, I figured you liked seeing your Dad in a jam, huh? I'd probably laugh, too."

I hesitantly got down on both knees in front of her and grabbed a new diaper from the package next to her. "How do you open this thing?" I asked no one in particular as I tucked on the sides and frowned slightly. "Oh yeah, that's it. All right … here goes," I sighed dramatically as I ripped open the old diaper and held it up with two fingers, my arm stretched out as far as possible.

"Ew, grossgrossgrossgross," I mumbled repetitively as I opened the trash and threw it into it, making sure I closed the lid securely. "All right," I sighed as I cleaned my hands with a towel and wiped my forehead. "The worst part is over. We did good, don't you think?"

Faye squealed with delight as she clapped her hands. "Why, thank you," I grinned as I finished cleaning her up and put her in the new diaper. "My own little audience. How flattering."

She tilted her head to the side and watched me closely. I stroke a hand over the top of her head and couldn't help but smile as I noticed her many features. "You look so much like your Mom, you know that?" I asked. "You've got her nose down pat. Just like a little button."

I touched her nose with my index finger, making her giggle loudly again. "You've got her smile, too," I said as my lips curled up in a crooked grin. "You're gonna grow up to be just as beautiful as Mommy. That's definitely gonna get the guys lined up for you. Just make sure you find someone nice, okay? Otherwise I'm gonna have to personally make sure that his butt gets kicked into the next state."

I took her in my arms as I sat down on the couch with Faye placed on my lap. "But I see a little bit of myself in you, too," I smiled as I cradled her and stoke her tummy. "You have no idea how proud that makes me, sweetie."

She curiously reached up and ran a hand over my chin, exploring my face like she always did. After a while had passed and she still hadn't stopped, I just let her do as she pleased. Who knows, maybe it was helpful to her.

"You look like someone who could use a little nap," I remarked and readjusted her in my arms. "Do you think a song will help put you to sleep?"

She looked up with widened eyes as a huge smile spread across her face. I could almost swear I saw her nodding.

"All right then," I chuckled. "What should I sing then?"

I thought about this for awhile until a certain song popped into my head. "Of course," I exclaimed and snapped my fingers. "This one's obvious. Forgive me, sweetie, but this is just a song that every dad has to sing to his daughter, all right? I think you'll like it."

I cleared my throat and smiled as I looked down on Faye, who was already beginning to yawn ever so slightly.

"I've got sunshine on a cloudy day
When it's cold outside
I've got the month of May
I guess you say
What can make me feel this way?

My girl, my girl
Talking 'bout my girl."

My voice was softer and clearer than I had ever thought imaginable. I watched Faye as she stretched her entire body and yawned as her eyelids began to droop. With a warm smile, I kissed the top of her head as I continued to sing.

"I've got so much honey
The bees envy me
I've got a sweeter song
Than the birds in the tree
Well, I guess you say
What can make me feel this way?

My girl,
Talking 'bout my girl."

Faye cuddled against my chest and let out a content sigh as her eyelids closed and her breathing became heavier. Before I knew it, she was sound asleep. A small, mischievous smile played on her closed lips and her hands tightened into small fists. An overwhelming feeling of pride rushed through my body as I watched her sleep. Did I really help create this tiny angel?

"I don't need no money
fortune or fame
I've got all the riches baby
One man can claim
Well, I guess you say
What can make me feel this way?"

"My girl, talking ‘bout my girl," I finished as I placed her down on the bed and stroke the top of her head affectionately. "Sleep tight, baby," I whispered and kissed her cheek.

When I stood up, I immediately connected with a pair of deep blue eyes. Melody stood with her body leaned against the door frame and smiled warmly at me.

"How long have you been standing there?" I asked surprised, whispering to not wake up Faye.

"A little while," she whispered back as she walked up and stood in front of me. "You two look so wonderful together, I just couldn't bring myself to interrupt you."

I looked away as a small blush filled my cheeks. "You know, she reminds me so much of you," I said quietly and met her gaze again. "She's just as beautiful."

Now it was Melody's turn to blush and look away. "Listen, uhh … I have an idea," she whispered hesitantly and brushed my arm gently. "Why don't you take her home with you tonight?"

My eyes widened in surprise. "Really? You'd let me do that?"

"Why not?" she asked sincerely. "I trust you, AJ, and I know you'll take good care of her. That is, if you want to take her…"

"Are you kidding?" I asked happily, struggling to keep my voice down. "I'd love to take her home with me. I can just drop her off in the morning if you want me to."

"Don't worry about it," she said and waved her hand lazily. "I'll just come pick her up sometime in the morning. There's no rush. Besides, it'll give me a breather, too."

Unable to control the grin on my face any longer, I leaned in and kissed her cheek affectionately as I whispered, "Thank you. You have no idea what this means to me."

She looked slightly bewildered, but it was quickly replaced by a warm smile. "I think I do," she replied. "Just make sure you take good care of her, you hear me?"

"Of course," I nodded vigorously, still with a wide grin plastered on my face.

My daughter was gonna stay with me tonight. I didn't have to leave her behind for even a minute. Oh dear Lord, please bless Melody for her incredible generosity.

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Chapter 14 » Chapter 16